I Failed

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Daily Vlogging on YouTube

I was never a couch potato type to start with, but ever since I was introduced to the world of YouTube, basically you'll never find me in front of the TV at all anymore. Casey Neistat, a filmmaker was inspired by my favorite YouTuber, Louis Cole, to start daily vlogging (they are the only two creators I watch every single day). Today he reached 3 million subscribers.

It's a fat chance that daily vlogs are all natural and spontaneous. After all, the aim is to gain views that automatically generate more revenue from the advertisements (although I don't use AdBlocker; just thought I'd put it out there). They're definitely orchestrated too, just a lot less since there are also less conflicts of interest. Even so, it can still go south for the YouTubers:

Just like what happened to Jesse and Jeana from BFvsGF and PrankvsPrank (a combined 17++ million of subscribers on both channels), deciding to quit the daily vlogging life for they feel that filming their life everyday has put so much pressure into the relationship and that the whole experience has changed them. Sincerely hope Louis and Casey won't ever stop doing so!

What's Thicker Than Blood

Yesterday's post went up earlier than normal. Have I finally put my procrastination to rest? Sadly no. It was already time to accompany Bapa to pick up Adek at the train station, that was the only reason why.

On the way to Manggarai, Bapa and I started having a conversation about the Communist party where I tried to probe how sensitive the issue is to my family. One thing led to another and we ended up maintaining this discussion till we almost made it back home..... but there's something in Bapa's story that knocked me off guard. I almost couldn't believe something that happened to Bapa's mother's father's brother's son actually affected me to a point that I was angered as if I was involved in the incident.

We Indonesians have this anecdote, "Every Batak is somehow related." While it holds true for the most part (I could try explaining why but it would be 7 hours long) and technically the person of interest is my relative too (given you, like Batak people, also agree that my father's mother's father's brother's son is still a family to me), the rush of emotions --all bad ones-- possessed me not because I feel related to him. But because I wholeheartedly believe that no one should have the life that he has.

Blood is thicker than water, but there's something even thicker than blood. It's called humanity.

My Definition of Faith

The other day, a random thing that I can't even remember now reminded me of this quote.

Let's get something out of the way: I barely landed a 7 in Physics class all through high school, so I know better never to debate THE Einstein on the subject which he basically was the god of. This one, however, didn't sit right with me. Is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results a form of insanity? Call me crazy (fine, pun intended), but to me it's called having hope. For what, you asked? A miracle. That one day your every failure will turn into a success, and that your perseverance pays off. It's not logical, but nothing about faith is. Faith is something you know doesn't necessarily make so much sense, if at all, but you believe it anyway because you know it's what meets the heart and not the eye, not the brain, nor the ears. Faith is what you will never lose despite how irrational you might seem to other people. While it's not always communicated for everyone to see --and judge--, it's forever kept, cause it's the most important thing. At least to me it is.

Meet My Doppelgänger

This is Gracia. I call her Grace. Sometimes Grey. Occasionally My Doppelganger. 

She doesn't share my resting bitch face mode per se; however, everything about her pretty much hits home. On top of the uncanny similarity on physical features (and deepness of skin tone, haha), both of us went to SMAK 7 Penabur, took Natural Science program, attended Universitas Indonesia, majored in Finance, earned extra credits in Human Resources Management classes, participated in OPK FEUI, Universal Youth Alliance, and Management Students Society, among others, are of Bataknese descent, play the piano, enjoy writing; I could go on forever.

Before we go on, can we just take a moment to appreciate that the background says EViews....? I promise some people in our class actually did study as we represented the minority. Please don't lose hope in this generation just yet, I beg you.

Anyway, already preparing to write about 'Insanity' for the day (be on the lookout for this post), I heard a ping and a notification email popped up: someone left a comment on my blog.

I can only hope I can be as lovable as my doppelganger. Grace, if you're reading, thank you for being super sweet at all times. Miss you so much, hit me up when you're back in town! Xx

Self-Alarm

THIS CLOSE till I failed the write-something-everyday challenge! Today marks the first day I completely forgot I hadn't posted on the blog.

I'll use the remainder three minutes of the day to talk about self-alarm. Unlike self-consciousness or self-awareness, to me it's very rarely that I find self-alarm to carry a negative connotation nor possibility. It's a miracle that a reminder could go off anytime at all to alert you of something. In my case tonight, that it was 11:52 pm and I needed to rush to my laptop to start typing, even before knowing which topic I would go with.

Let's listen more to our self-alarm, it will save us from disappointments in the future.

Drop The Baby If You Don't Have a Bomb

A super fun Monday afternoon with Uty and Nesa sadly came to an end; both of them would make great roommates! Home alone, I felt like catching up with Indonesian news since CNN App is my only source of updates and they certainly don't write about what's happening in Jakarta (and rightfully so). Of course I had to find this downright atrocity:

A baby. Was dropped. From the top floor. By the mother. All the more reason to solely use CNN App. Read here.

What Girls Do in the Bathroom

This post is for all of you guys who always wonder (and get frustrated about) why girls go to the bathroom all the time, with a bunch of their friends, and not coming out for what feels like an eternity. I don't believe in gender supremacy but toilet conferences and photo shoot sessions are amongst the perks of being a lady. ;)

Well now you know!

Need More Saturdays Like This

Get dolled up for Mute's wedding at Uty's hotel room with her and Ola.
Met so many uni friends at the venue for the first time in a year.
Off to the sleepover with Galuh!

Brothers for Life

As I was getting ready this morning, one of my guy friends texted me asking if I was free to talk. We used to be pretty close but lately we strictly have conversations in the WhatsApp group. For confidentiality purposes, let's call him A. A is in the following picture, I'm not telling which one. :P

Spending months preparing for CFA Institute Research Challenge (which was super awesome, definitely among my fave memories), plus being friends with me years prior to this training, A knows I have this special bond with B. Again, B is in the following picture. Guess which one! ;)

Basically A heard a rumor of B's job being on the risky side and has been very concerned. I know they always say only 20% of the people who ask question genuinely care, the other 80% are merely curious. But I feel it, A is within the minority, if such statistics did not come out of thin air.

And it warmed my heart. It's really wonderful to see how a person who rarely talks to you (the person being A and you being B), rarely meets you, rarely sees you, still looks out for you and wants the best for you. I love my boys, they're really brothers for life.

The People You Love the Most Hurt You the Worst

Having been really fascinated by the secret world of espionage since I was little, this title spoke to me. Upon reading, I couldn't help but feel disturbed about the possibility of them having kids to build an even more convincing cover up story, instead of because they loved each other and genuinely wanted them.

Source: The Guardian - The day we discovered our parents were Russian spies. Read here.

Long Lost Love

The last few years now UKI graduate program has established this partnership with University of the Philippines (UP) Baguio. Since Mama is the vice director, she is in charge of the guest lecturing, and, in an exchange for Lorac Pro Matte palette, I agreed to accompany her to these classes, and help her with moderating and translating responsibilities. Moms.

The teacher is UP's Jay Stephen C. Siy, a teaching staff as well as consultant for SME's in the Philippines. To me anyone within the caliber of being appointed as university representative to speak in academic platforms should carry the title professor, and I look at him as such. The topic? Investment Criteria. NPV, IRR, payback period, and profitability index. You'd have been shocked had you seen how interested (and active) I was during the sessions! It was weird for me indeed! I guess I've been away from that world too long that I started missing it under my consciousness........ Oh, Finance, I really did love you, didn't I?

Poop Coffee

My favorite YouTuber, Louis Cole, released this vlog earlier today. Skip to 2:00 if you're in a rush, but it upsets me that a lot of people get introduced to kopi luwak about thousand of miles away from where it originated and is produced in. :(

Too Big To Handle

Apologies for the title, I couldn't think of a better summary.

Bapa, Adek, and I went to THE Big Bad Wolf book fair at ICE BSD today. Everyone had been raving about the event so it was only right for us as book lovers to see what's the hype was about. And, lo and behold, I have never seen that many books in my life before. Let's just say when they said there were millions of imported books (sold at a fraction of the price despite being in a perfect condition) ready to snatch at the exhibition, they didn't mean it figuratively. Would have loved to share photos of the venue and the insane amount of crowd --on a Monday!-- had I not been too busy dealing with anxiety the entire time to take some.

I knew the second I laid eyes on this sucker that Lu would love it as much as I do. Recipes of tandoori fish masala, green chicken curry, fish with madras sauce samosas, red beef curry, spicy pork vindaloo, lamb and spinach curry, chicken tikka masala, lamb biryani, tandoori chicken kebabs with raita, among others. Umm, yes please! #TheIndianLife

So, final thoughts: Is it worth the hype? Absolutely! I can see this being a dream-come-true and basically a heaven for avid book readers and/or collectors. Will I be returning next year? Maybe not. While I highly appreciate the super neat management as far as quality goes for both the goods and the bazaar itself at large, I unfortunately found the quantity of the books to be overwhelming. A great trip nonetheless. Quite possibly the best 45k ever spent too.

The Leading Lady

With Abu Sayyaf captives back to Indonesian soil story dominating the news on TV, Retno Marsudi's face appears more frequently than ever, at least as of lately. Previously assuming the Indonesian ambassador title for Norway, Iceland, and The Netherlands, she is the first female foreign minister to ever serve for the country.

She also is a kind of woman who I think refuses to spend more than 5 minutes to try to look put together. Not that makeup is oh-so-vain and girls who cake their face up are insecure (well, hello), but it's somewhat refreshing to finally see a woman sporting her bare face as the star of the show and completely owning it. What a total badass! I admire her so much.

BBQ Grill

One thing you need to know about me: I take care of my friends. Most of the time I play the bad cop role, but I do it solely to make sure they act a certain way based on at least two heads instead of one.

Today the initial plan was to spend the day with Naila, but out of the blue she just started having a fever! :( Since we had to reschedule, I told Uty, Zuzu, Rahman, and Driky that I could join them for the day.

Nearing dinner time, I remembered Galuh was meeting Anty and Ayas at Plaza Senayan and I just thought it'd be great to say hi since we were thinking of going to Sushi Tei Plaza Senayan anyway. To my surprise, Galuh was already with Mas Rifqi, the guy she's been seeing! I wouldn't pass up this great opportunity: I told her I was so joining. It was literally the last thing on my mind that meeting me would also mean meeting Uty, Zuzu, Rahman, Driky, and, after learning I was on the way to the dinner with the couple, Ayas, and Anty. Whoops!

And so the grilling began.

Mad props to Mas Rifqi for handling himself well, and in ultimate spotlight, while we're at it. I am left with a few things to further decide, but as of right now, he meets my expectation and it's a green light from me!

Here's to hoping we (I) didn't scare him off. :P

Endure Through Time

I was in my room with Mama when my phone went off. It was Lu, letting me know that the company he applied to just called to confirm that he got the job. I knew he'd get it! So proud and happy and excited for him.

First term of the contract is up in.... November.

Easy Friendship

Happy Ascension day! The only One great thing about living in Indonesia is there are 6 recognized religions and for each holy day, it's a day off. (This also explains why Indonesian workers are entitled to only 12 days of paid leave in a year.) On a whim, my girls and I made plans to have lunch at Gastromaquia Senopati.

I love this easy friendship: the kind of relationship that doesn't require you to meet every so often, but once you do, without any difficulty you'll reconnect and pick up where you left off. It's so great knowing everyone's doing great: Ester is enjoying her last few months in Jakarta before heading to Manchester this fall, Sherry is seeing this great guy after being single for a long time, Ayas just started a new job with a much better working environment than her previous employer, Anty finished her working contract exactly today, Theresa is doing her research for a master's program abroad, and Ade looks very comfortable where she's at.

We ended up not eating all that much; too busy to catch each other up and crack up over inside jokes. Definitely a foul-proof activity to spend the day-off!

If I Only Could Choose One Thing

Finally got home, cleaned up, played with my new eyeshadow palettes (review's coming up), crashed into bed, and was about to hang up the call with Lu when the time check jolted me awake: it was almost 11.40 and I hadn't written anything on the blog! Four days into the daily-journal journey and I'm already struggling. Oh boy.

There are quite a lot of things to write about, but since the clock is ticking (11:58 by the time of this writing), I could only choose one thing that mattered the most today and here's it:

Presenting Christopher Tanjung, B.Med.! Cumlaude! This guy just can't make us any prouder! <3

Giant Takeaway from A Dating Show

With my startup taking a lengthy hiatus --much to my dismay-- and Lu being away traveling to London, Ibiza, Valencia, and Calpe, I've been having a lot of free time around and past midnight, being a night owl I always am. For the past a couple of days, movies streaming and e-books are no longer cutting it so I started watching The Bachelorette............. which is highly unusual since I don't watch that kind of reality show, or any kind of TV show anymore for that matter. I guess the trampoline phase of my life lately has gotten the best of me that I want nothing more than a blah show to pass the time. How many times can you say 'show' in one paragraph?

It's the ninth season, starring a bridal stylist Desiree Hartsock who is not only drop-dead gorgeous but also seems very humble and non-materialistic. I had always heard people in these shows to be the just opposite, so she immediately earned my respect and, long story short, I began rooting for her to find love here. And oh my gosh, let me tell you, I've never seen someone crying as much as she was during her final days into the program! I can't stand cry babies and drama queens (this has to do with me being friends with mostly guys growing up, I believe), but even I gotta admit that what happened to her was utterly awful, and I'm not sure I would've handled it better had it been me who had to go through all that, not to mention for the world to see.

She did get engaged in the end, and after looking her and her fiance up on Google, I learned that they are happily married now and expecting a baby, which is a wonderful news because Google also told me it's very rare for The Bachelor and its spin-offs' couples to last for any period of time at all. *poker face* Even so, it raises my alarm on how things could go very smoothly and believable in a relationship and one day it'd just blow up on your face. There is almost nothing certain in love, and the deeper you fall for someone, the vulnerable you are from the risks of having your heartbroken. It makes me reflective on how we can't rely on our partner no matter how promising the situation is, because they might not always be what they seem, or they are, but they might change one day, rocking your world that has already revolved around them.

Insecurities, insecurities.

PS: The island of Madeira, Portugal is CRAZY beautiful. Thanks for helping me discover this, The Bachelorette season 9.

DIY 3D Flower Pop Up Card

Knowing it was my turn to make the 32nd monthiversary gift (Oh come on, you seriously think I care if it sounds lame to you? :D), Zuzu sent me a tutorial of making this super cutesy DIY card.

I rescaled it to a much tinier version and I added "and welcome home!" to the back of the card, transforming the monthiversary craft project into a multi-functional message conveyor.

Yes, the video couldn't get any more amateur than this. But I am really determined to have this post up by May 2nd and the day is ending in less than 4 minutes. Recommended to try!

You Gotta Start Somewhere

When I was young

and Christmas trees were tall

we used to love while others used to play.

I will never be able to single out a band nor any singer at all to label as my favorite, but Bee Gees is up there with the ones closest to my heart.

First of May is a good song. First of May 2016 is hopefully a good start of this blog.

Intentional? Of course not, just me trying to link between two completely unrelated things and calling a totally irrelevant thing 'a sign'.

That's what I do best.